Friday, June 9, 2017

The Single Series: When You Feel Unlovable


Hello dear friend! I know it's been a while since I've written about being single. If you read this post, I gave two reasons why I haven't: 1. I've had a couple interviews that ended up taking up way more time than I ever imagined. 2. I started dating someone and I felt like that disqualified me from writing about being single. On top of that, grad school has just been crazy is general. My advisor and I submitted another paper this week so it's been tedious trying to make sure everything is perfect before sending it in. Anyway. While my first reason and the whole grad school thing is completely legit (and it's only gotten crazier because I'm constantly applying for jobs), the second reason is a load of crap. I was afraid that if I kept writing about being single, I would jinx my relationship. It sounds so silly to me now to type that out, but it's exactly how I was feeling even just a month ago. I'm sure I'll write more on that at some point!

But now that I don't have any interviews on the horizon, my paper was submitted, and I've gotten over my superstition, let's get right into this post.

Being single comes with a lot of feelings and emotions, but the one I struggled (and TBH still struggle) with the most is feeling unlovable. You see women around you dating and getting married. They have someone who loves them, and it only further highlights that you don't. It's painful. I get it. So how to you get through that? Or at the very least manage it?

Remember who created you. Our God is so good! So many people know this verse, but it's so powerful: For God so loved the world, He gave His only Son... (John 3:16). Friends, God loves the world (and you!) so much that he watched his son die. He let his son die. Easter was about a month and a half ago, and I always find myself so overwhelmed with that idea. A father sent his son to die. But not just for dying's sake. He did it to save the world because he loves the world! And you are part of this world!

Find friends who can love you well during these rough times. I pray you have friends with whom you can be totally and completely honest with your feelings. I also pray those friends love you fiercely and well when you're feeling unlovable. When you start feeling unlovable, the worst thing you can do is isolate yourself. So go to your friends during these times.

The Lord has a plan for your life. I can guarantee that it won't look like what you imagined. Trust me. You can think you know the perfect way your life should go and it will most certainly go a totally different way. If you told me even 8 months ago I would sign up for Match and meet a guy I would end up dating I would have laughed. LAUGHED. So go with it. Just go with the Lord's plan. And if you're struggling with discerning what's going on, talk to him! Pray about it. These last few months I've actually realized the power of prayer (yes I'm nearly 27 and am just now realizing this!). When I start feeling lost, it's because I'm not focused on my guide. Would you walk through the rain forest without following a guide or a map? Of course not! James 1:5 says "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." 

If you struggle with prayer, there's no shame my friend! Sitting down to pray is one of the hardest things for me to do. I get side tracked and I feel like my prayers just aren't working. I felt like I had to say the "right" thing in order for God to answer my prayer. What I realized is that He doesn't need fancy words or for you to say the "right" thing. In fact, now I talk to the Lord like I would talk to my best friend. I use words and phrases like "yo" and "I literally cannot" so you don't have to have fancy wording for the Lord to hear you. Fun fact about our Great Father: He knows your heart. He knows what pains you. He knew you would be pained by this before you ever did. There's literally no hiding your feelings from him. Seriously! Try wrapping your mind around that! But if you need somewhere to start, I suggest repeating a prayer that Brennan Manning writes in his book "The Furious Longing of God."
Abba, I belong to you
Specifically, inhale as you say Abba and exhale as you say I belong to you
Inhale Abba, exhale I belong to you

And repeat this prayer as long as you need to! If you need to repeat it every night, do that. It's a simple but so powerful prayer, so let it be your starting point. Even if it's all you pray for a week straight, do it. Remind yourself daily that you belong to our Great Father! Once you truly believe that you belong to the Father, tell him every single one of your hurts and pains. Pour your broken heart out to him.

Sweet friend if you are feeling unlovable please know that you are perfectly loved by the Lord. I'm so sorry you feel unlovable. I understand that it's one of the worst feelings in the world. I've had my fair share of cry sessions in the shower because I felt like I wasn't lovable or worthy of being loved. Whatever you do, avoid those dark places. When your body physically hurts from this, cry out to the Lord Abba, I belong to you.

In His hands,

Friday, June 2, 2017

Camo Shirt and Pink Lips

Similar tops linked below | Jeans | Shoes | Lipstick (Shade: Bella)

Hi friends! Sorry it's been a while since I posted. May was a super crazy month, and it completely flew by! Today I thought I'd introduce y'all to one of my favorite "neutrals"...camo! It's not just for hunting - you can easily dress it up by adding a bold lips and some stacking bracelets. I purchased this shirt from American Eagle but it looks like they aren't selling it anymore. Instead, I linked some similar camo shirts below along with some of my favorite lip products!

This weekend I'm off to Lake Erie with my boyfriend and his parents. They go up there often to go fishing, and I'm super excited to be included in this! My papaw used to go up there all the time so it'll be so fun to get to see the place he loved so much! What are your plans this weekend? Anything exciting? Let me know below!






--

Subscribe to my mailing list for exclusive content, recap of recent posts, plus other fun and exciting things!

* indicates required